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मी ,ती आणि स्पर्धा परीक्षेतील वास्तव

मी ,ती आणि स्पर्धा परीक्षा वास्तव

‘मी’ म्हणजेच स्पर्धा परीक्षांची तयारी करणारा प्रत्येक परीक्षार्थी होय.  ‘ती’ चा विचार केला तर ‘ती’ एक आई असू शकते , ‘ती’ एक बहीण असू शकते ,’ ती’ एक मैत्रीण असू शकते आणि शेवटी ‘ती’ एक आयुष्याची जोडीदार असू शकते.

https://www.vastavkatta.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/Mi-aani-ti.jpg

स्पर्धा परीक्षा आणि आपण यांच्या प्रवासात आपल्या आजूबाजूला असणारे समाजाचे अनेक अंगीकृत घटक हे परिणामकारक भूमिका बजावतात. यामध्ये आपल्या घरातील नातेवाईकांच्या सोबतीची नितांत आवश्यकता असते. या दीर्घकालीन प्रवासात आपल्या घरचे आपणास आर्थिक, मानसिक अन भावनिक पाठबळ पुरवत असतील , तर हा प्रवास सुखकररित्या पूर्णत्वास जाऊ शक्यतो. अन्यथा पुन्हा अभ्यासातील प्रश्नांसोबत या स्पर्धा परीक्षेत अनेक नात्यांच्या प्रश्नांची उकल करणे , कष्टप्रद होऊन जातो. यशाच्या या अविरत प्रवासात आपली आई, बहीण , मित्र/मैत्रीण वा पती/पत्नी यांची आपल्या अभ्यासातील सहाय्यकारी भूमिका महत्त्वाची ठरते.

बहुतांश विद्यार्थी स्पर्धा परीक्षेचा अभ्यास चालू करण्याचा निर्णय हा त्यांच्या पालकांशी चर्चा मसलत करून घेतात. काही पालक ( बहुधा मुलींचे) ती वयाच्या अमुक अमुक वर्षापर्यंत तयारी करेल व त्यानंतर अन्य मार्ग निवडेल असे आखाडे बांधतात. त्यामुळे शक्यतो पालक या प्रवासात अडथळे कधीच बनत नाही. त्यांची भूमिका सदैव सहाय्यकारीच असते. या सर्वात भावनिक साथ देण्यास आपल्या आईवडिलांची नितांत गरज असते. अगदी अर्धा- एक मार्कानी परीक्षेत अपयश आल्यावर हरवलेला आत्मविश्वास असो वा अभ्यासाचा आलेला ताण या सर्वच गोष्टीचे व्यवस्थापन करण्यात आईवडिलांची महत्वपूर्ण भूमिका ठरते. या सोबत पुण्यासारख्या किंवा इतर ठिकाणी बाहेरगावी राहून अभ्यास करणाऱ्या विद्यार्थांना पालकांनी दिलेले आर्थिक पाठबळ ही त्यांची उद्याची गुंतवणूक असते.

स्पर्धा परीक्षेच्या अभ्यासात आपल्या बहिणीची मदत एक सकारात्मक भूमिका बजावते. आपल्या प्रयत्नांना जवळून बघणारी व सदैव आपल्या पाठीशी राहून प्रयत्नांना हातभार लावणारी तिची भूमिका सहाय्यकारी असते. जर बहीण समवयस्क असेल तर ती अभ्यासाची उजळणी घेण्याकरिता मदत करू शकते. काही वेळा घरात तीच आर्थिक जबाबदारी उचलून आपल्या अभ्यासाचा मार्ग मोकळा करत असते. तुमच्या घरी जर लहान भावंडे असतील , तर त्यांना देखील या प्रक्रियेचा भाग बनवा . जर तुम्ही घरी अभ्यास करत असाल, तर त्यांना आपण केलेल्या अभ्यासावर प्रश्न विचारण्यास सांगा.. बराच सकारात्मक बदल घडून येतो.

स्पर्धा परीक्षा तयारी करताना तुम्ही रिलेशनशिपमध्ये राहू शकता का?
बरं, हे अवलंबून आहे की तयारीच्या आधीच तुम्ही या नात्यात आहात की तुम्ही तयारी करत असताना तुम्हाला एकत्र राहायचे आहे.
तुम्ही सकारात्मक बाबींचा विचार केला तर तुमचा जोडीदार तुमची ध्येये आणि आकांक्षा समजून घेईल आणि तुम्ही तयारी करत असताना तुम्हाला साथ देईल, जर तुमचा सर्व वेळ तयारीसाठी गेला तर तुमच्या जोडीदारासाठी ते ठीक आहे आणि ते तणाव समजून घेऊ शकतात आणि या प्रवासाची असुरक्षितता लक्षात घेऊन ती तुमच्या चांगल्या आणि वाईट काळामध्ये कायम तुमच्या सोबत उभे राहू शकते.

IAS कनिषक कटारिया (UPSC CSE 2018 टॉपर) यांना
स्पर्धा परीक्षांची तयारी करताना रिलेशनशिपमध्ये राहणे चांगले आहे का? हा प्रश्न विचारला असता त्यांनी दिलेले उत्तर खूप सुंदर आहे.
ते म्हणतात , एक गोष्ट लक्षात ठेवा – “ तुम्ही जे काही साध्य करण्याचा प्रयत्न करत आहात, मग ती तुमची स्वप्नवत नोकरी असो, पदोन्नती असो किंवा तुम्हाला माउंट एव्हरेस्ट सर करायचा असला तरीही , प्रेम तुम्हाला तुमचे ध्येय साध्य करण्यापासून कधीही रोखणार नाही. एक व्यक्ती जी तुम्हाला हे सर्व साध्य करण्यापासून रोखू शकते ती म्हणजे तुम्ही स्वतः”.

सध्याच्या युगात तंत्रज्ञानातील प्रगतीमुळे संवाद साधणे सोपे होत आहे. विद्यार्थी, विशेषत: जे रिलेशनशिपमध्ये आहेत, रात्री उशिरापर्यंत सोशल मीडियावर चॅट करतात, फोनवर तासंतास बोलतात, सोशल नेटवर्किंग साइट्सवर लॉग ऑन राहतात . कधी कधी अशा गोष्टी एकाच वेळी करतात. या गोष्टी खरं तर परीक्षेच्या काळात अभ्यासापासून त्यांचे लक्ष विचलित करतात. त्याचा परिणाम असा होतो की अभ्यासासाठी वेळच उरला नाही, वरील सर्व बाबींमुळे दबाव निर्माण होऊन चिंता/नैराश्य येते आणि विद्यार्थी परीक्षेतून माघार घेतात.

एकाने विचारलं प्रेम कस असतं..
जे “Single” आहेत त्यांच्यासाठी “Excitement” असत…

जे “Relation” मध्ये असतात त्यांच्यासाठी “Adventure” असत..

ज्यांच “Breakup” झालंय त्यांच्यासाठी “Boring” असत..

ज्यांच लग्न झालय त्यांच्यासाठी आयुष्यभरासाठीच “Commitment” असत…

काही बाबी लक्षात घेता नवीन नातेसंबंध जोडणे हे व्यसनासारखे आहे, तुम्हाला फक्त त्यांच्याशी बोलायचे आहे, त्यांच्याबद्दल विचार करायचा आहे, त्यांच्यासोबत तुमचा वेळ घालवायचा आहे. तुम्हाला क्लाउड नाइनची ती गर्दी आणि कायाकल्प खूप छान वाटेल, तुमच्या सभोवतालची प्रत्येक गोष्ट अचानक सुंदर आणि रोमँटिक बनते. वरील सर्व बाबींमुळे अभ्यास करणे खूप कठीण होईल कारण यामुळे तुमच्या एकाग्रतेवर परिणाम होतो, ही एक ऊर्जा घेणारी प्रक्रिया देखील आहे.

आपल्यापैकी बरेच जण नातेसंबंधात राहण्यासाठी पुरेसे प्रगल्भ नसतात, कधीकधी आपल्याला काय हवे आहे हे माहित नसते आणि या व्यसनाचा काळ आपल्या विवेकबुद्धीला देखील अडथळा आणतो, कारण आपण प्रेमात खुश आहोत, सर्वकाही परिपूर्ण आहे. जेव्हा तुम्हाला कळते की हे तुमचे दीर्घकालीन उद्दिष्ट नाही, तो फक्त एक पूरक पैलू आहे, जेव्हा तुम्हाला हे लक्षात येते की तयारीसाठी दिवसाचे 10-12 तास द्यावे लागतील, जेव्हा तुम्हाला समजते की ती व्यक्ती या गोष्टी समजण्यास खूप नवीन आहे. आपल्याला शेवटी निराशा येते आणि अनावश्यक मारामारी आणि तणाव निर्माण होतो. त्यावेळेस तुम्ही भावनिकदृष्ट्या असुरक्षित व्हाल.

हा एक संघर्ष आहे, हा मार्ग तुम्हाला स्वतःहून पूर्ण करावा लागेल, म्हणून एकटे राहणे ही एक परिपूर्ण परिस्थिती आहे. तुम्हाला तुमच्या ध्येयाच्या दिशेने सर्व काही नियोजित करावे लागेल. या गोष्टी अजिबात महत्त्वाच्या नाहीत. तेव्हा तुम्ही हवे ते साध्य कराल, त्यावेळेस तुम्ही तुमच्या आयुष्याच्या अत्यंत शांत आणि कमी गोंधळाच्या टप्प्यात असाल, तुम्ही अधिक प्रगल्भ व्हाल आणि यानंतर कोणीतरी शोधणे अधिक फलदायी होईल. म्हणून तुमच्या एकांतवासाचा आनंद घ्या, स्वतःला जाणून घ्या आणि कठोर परिश्रम करा.

नुकताच प्रदर्शित झालेला चित्रपट ‘ट्वेल्थ फेल’ याचा जर संदर्भ द्यायचा झाला तर नवीन स्पर्धा परीक्षेत येऊ घातलेले परीक्षार्थी म्हणजेच मनोज हे श्रद्धाच्या शोधात असल्याचे दिसतात. प्रत्येकालाच भेटेल असं सांगू शकत नाही. ज्यांच्या आयुष्यात असेल त्यांच्यासाठी त्यांचं पुढील आयुष्य नक्कीच फलदायी आणि सुकर असणार आहे.

ज्यावेळेस आयुष्य जगत असताना आपण अपयशाच्या अगदी जवळ आहोत आणि आपल्याला पूर्णतः आपण संपलो आहोत, खचलो आहोत आणि पूर्णतः आत्मविश्वास गमावलेला आहे याची जाणीव होते. त्यावेळेस आपल्यासोबत असणारी व्यक्ती ही श्रद्धा सारखी असेल तर आपण यश कशाप्रकारे खेचून आणू शकतो हे पुढील संभाषणातून दिसून येते , “मनोज ,तुम चाहे आयपीएस ऑफिसर बनो ,या चक्की मे काम करो. मै सारी जिंदगी तुम्हारे साथ बिताना चाहती हू.”

अविनाश शितोळे
स्पर्धा परीक्षा मार्गदर्शक
‘द लॉजिक बूस्टर’ आणि ‘द ऍनालिस्ट’ पुस्तकाचे लेखक
Shitole11@gmail.com

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